Valentine's Day s

February 2000 Table of Contents

ST VALENTINE'S DAY
by Anna Maria Côté

What is it about this particular day that sets the heart racing with excitement? Which makes the mouth dry with anticipation? Which lightens both pocketbook and wallet? Which makes men an women dress in every combination of red and white one can think of... red dresses, red skirts and tops, red shirts, all-white outfits with red accents of ties, ribbons and pins, red shoes (going down the road and elsewhere), red caps, red socks at schools, red lipstick (the redder the better), polka dots in red and white, red and white stripes, red and white plaid...? You get the dizzying picture.

The classier shops adorn their windows with mannequins dressed in red and white. All day from dusk to dawn there is a constant parade of fashions, each attempting to outdo the one before. One can park oneself at the International Bazaar in Freeport, all along the length of Don MacKay Boulevard in Marsh Harbour, anywhere in the downtown area of Nassau - or in Palmdale or Paradise Island - and the array of these colours might make the uninitiated think there was a national festival going on. And there is, for that is what St Valentine's Day has become.

St Valentine's Day began as many religious traditions did with the celebration of a revered saint. In this case there were two Roman martyrs of the 3rd century called Valentine and they were honoured on February 14th. The Roman festival of Lupercalis was celebrated on February 15th and somehow the two feast days combined and the tradition of honouring one's beloved with a gift of flowers survived throughout the centuries.

As a child I can remember seeing the odd bunch of flowers or chocolates arriving for an adult female relative and hear whispered giggles of why they were sent and from whom. It seemed a sweet and romantic thing to do - to acknowledge the one you love in such a manner. However, by the time I grew to adulthood in the 70's and 80's, the simple practice of gift giving to one's boy or girlfriend on Valentine's day had somehow become a competition to get or give the biggest, reddest, most colourful, most flamboyant, most expensive basket of treats, accompanied by bottles of something frothy, dressed in something else even more frothy (like a negligée), complemented by the richest chocolate, red (preferably a dozen) roses (or at least carnations), red and white striped candy, stuffed dolls, Hallmark talking cards, maybe a piece or two of jewellery, and finally everything topped by balloons filled with sufficient helium to set the entire package afloat well above Cloud 9.

Valentine's Day has followed the other celebrations of the year - Easter, Mother's Day, Father's Day, Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year's Day - into the deep, swirling, cavernous cacophony that is media commercialism. People no longer really care from whom a gift came, just that it came - and came mightily! It must be better than the rest, it must come early enough in the day to engender envy and awe from co-workers, and then it must be triumphantly borne home at the end of a long and exciting day by the recipient who will then whisper that she (yes, or he) must hurry home to prepare for that Valentine date. In this society the sane man had better not forget his wife or significant other on such a day. And if he is like those other fellows who happen to have two or three others, he had better ensure that each one receives a gift befitting her particular place in his life without the others knowing about it. Then he had better hope that one of them takes him out to dinner or he would not be able to afford to eat.

Men equally anticipate St Valentine's Day while their women send out love requests on the popular radio stations (to Freddy from your Valentine, to all the guys in the office, from your loving Katie, etc). These same women (whose mothers and grandmothers would never dream of doing likewise) then come to collect their men or meet them at some luncheon venue where his basket may await. If she's a woman of the New Millennium then he will probably receive a jewelled ring, watch or tie pin, a piece of brass 'n' leather, or a bottle of champers adorned with a fresh red rose. These treasures he will gladly walk with all the way back to work, bearing it in a nonchalant manner for all to see. If the same young man receives more than arrangement this day, he is not in the least embarrassed. Far from it. He bears a sly smile and hints to his friends that he dare not take any of them home for fear of trouble.

Anyone rash enough to wear red and white should be seen to have a gift basket or they would be the object of everyone's scorn and teasing. Why dress the part if you are not going to play the game. However, if you come to work dressed in any other colour - say green, blue or brown - then you are even more chastised for not getting into the feeling. I have actually known people send themselves a basket on Valentine's Day to avoid the cynosure they are likely to suffer from their office neighbours. Poor things! Imagine having to succumb to peer pressure to the extent that you have to dig deep into your own pocket to furnish your own lovely Valentine's basket. What have we come to?

The most touching display of genuine affection I have seen displayed started with one red rose that a homely gentleman brought to the desk of his wife of many years, who received it with a smile and a kiss. The pleasure and surprise on her face were something to see. With tears in his eyes and a raspy voice, the man sung the Freddy Jackson song All I'll Ever Ask to her while everyone stood around and watched. Then the two of them embraced and went off to a private lunch and were not seen for the rest of that lovely day. I tell you, it brought tears to her co-workers' eyes. Furthermore, she received a single red rose each and every day for the remainder of that week, at different hours of the day. Real to the core - no amount of commercialisation can ever top that!

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